


Mirror Mirror

by universalromance



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dystopian, English Extension 2 Major Work, Epic Twist, Epistolary, Mental Health Issues, Original work - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 12:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universalromance/pseuds/universalromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julia Allen is taken to an Education Centre due to anti-socil and non-conformist behaviour. This is an original work written for my major project in my final year of schooling, it challenges all institutions and the traditions of conformity they force upon society. Set in a dystopian world After Reformation, it observes the life of a young woman and the effect this world has had on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This story deals with social issues and also mental health issues so please keep that in mind as you read. The style may seem choppy but it is intended that way as it is a mimetic text. It's the most technical thing I've ever written and if anyone has questions I'm so happy to answer them. It's been over a year since I handed it in and I decided I wanted to share so please, comment and criticise (constructively) and enjoy.

**Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy.**

**\- F. Scott Fitzgerald**

_20/10/18 AR_

_Radost’ moya 1,                                                   _

_I am afraid to say that this is goodbye. I can’t really explain the reasons for my ~~disappearance~~ leaving you but I hope you will understand. I can say that I am doing this for you. Only for you. As is everything that I do. It’s always been easy for me to be selfless but this time I’m being slightly selfish. I never wanted to be in this world, I only ~~existstayed~~ lived ~~because of~~ for you._

_Now look at this. I’m so flustered at the idea of goodbye that I can’t even get my words straight. I will miss you, never doubt that. And in some way I will still be here for you. My legacy will remain behind me. The book I have enclosed for you contains all the letters you sent me but also some documents from the facility you were in. I need you to read them. To understand. Please. I am begging you to understand._

_I know what you are thinking right now but believe me when I say that you can survive without me. I know you can._

_So read the documents. Understand what happened to us._

_And live. There is always hope._

_All my love, always,_

_Roman_

 

 

~ MIRROR|ЯOЯЯIM ~

 

**Every man dies, not every man lives**

**\- William Wallace**

The room was bare. Drab. Almost as though nobody even lived there. The walls used to be white but now resembled a greyish hue, like the skin of somebody very sick, as the paint had long since faded and discoloured due the sunlight shining through the large windows at the front of the house. It contained only two armchairs, a coffee table with an empty vase set in the middle, and a single framed photograph on the mantle that had gathered enough dust to obscure the faces of the people featured.

One of the armchairs was occupied by a single body, curled in on herself with hair falling forward to hide her face as she stared desolately at the empty chair across from her. She remained that way for quite some time, the shadows of the furniture moving as the minutes ticked by and the sun moved higher in the sky.

There was the sound of letters being pushed through the post-flap and falling to the carpet before she finally stirred, raising her head and looking behind her to the doorway. She stood, slowly but gracefully made her way into the hall to collect the letters.

No emotion crossed her face until she flipped through to the bottom letter which was addressed in fine cursive. It was only a small smile that appeared but it was a vibrant change from the drawn expression moments before.

_Miss Julia Allen_

Following her name was her address in the same writing. She flipped over the envelope to read the sender’s name, her fingertip brushing over the name tenderly.

_Mr Roman Kislev_

Julia Allen walked back to her seat and dropped the other letters unceremoniously on the coffee table, sitting and continuing to gaze at the sender’s name on the back of the letter.

Despite her obvious connection with the letter she eventually placed it down and decided to attend to the other letters first. A letter from her parents which she skimmed with a disgusted expression. The usual nonsense: how were her studies? Was she coming to visit soon? Making sure she wasn’t dating anybody… unsuitable…

Julia glanced at the letter from Mr Roman Kislev and bit back a smile.

Definitely unsuitable by her parents’ standards.

There was also a notice for a community meeting that she immediately crumpled up and threw into the corner with a sigh. Community. She hated that word so much. She knew it would get her into trouble, constantly disregarding her “duties” as a member of the community, proving she couldn’t conform to the standards expected of her and every other individual in this miserable world.

She had been just like them but part of her had always wondered why. Why was she doing this? Why was she letting other people dictate her life? She’d felt alone and afraid.

Then a letter arrived. The first letter Mr Roman Kislev ever sent her.

Her world was still bleak but there was a spot of light in it now. His letters brought happiness, no matter how brief. It was enough that it awakened a kind of rebelliousness in her to go against her parents and the rest. It was dangerous but it gave her something to live for and she needed that, desperately.

~ R ♥ J ~

The world After Reformation.

Eighteen years, five months and six days since the world was reformed into the mindless unit of automatons that the human race has become. With one supreme leader referred to only as Teacher the human race has lost its identity, the sense of individuality that each human being had the freedom of displaying to help the race progress and evolve.

All progress has stopped.

How is progress to be made if nobody has the sense to think ahead of those around them?

That’s the thing about the world After Reformation, everyone has to think the same thoughts or they risk institutionalisation and Re-education forcing them to become soulless workers of the state.

Nobody knows what happens in the Re-education facilities, not even those who had been released from them, they don’t remember what happened to them inside. Nobody asks. If they asked they knew they would be the next to end up inside. Families always received a letter to inform them that their relative had been taken away and that they too were now under suspicion.

Sometimes people were taken away but nobody knew where they went because their family never received a letter. The only thing people knew about these cases is that not only did the person disappear, so did everything they owned and every bit of evidence of their life. Also that they were of... interest to the state for one reason or another.

~ R ♥ J ~

6/5/18 AR

Dr Stafford,

                There is a man I am particularly interested in. He has come to my attention due to the signs of his extreme intelligence. His name is Roman Kislev and unfortunately there seems to be only one citizen who can contact him.

     Julia Allen is a young woman currently studying at the college within the city and I would appreciate it very much if you were able to bring her in for questioning. Fabricate something for her family if you have to but take her to the Centre, the psychiatric section would be appropriate.

     Be gentle with her. I’ve looked into her file and she seems a rather delicate individual and I’d hate for her to shut off before we have a chance to find out about Mr Kislev from her.

     I expect this done immediately. No exceptions. I also expect to hear back from you sometime soon.

     Teacher

~ R ♥ J ~

Julia had just finished penning her response to Roman’s most recent letter, her face lit up and by the dim light of her desk lamp in the early evening she looked much healthier than she usually did. Sealing the envelope seemed to give her the most joy, knowing that her words would be travelling to somebody who cared about them and would respond to them honestly and sincerely.

She heard vehicles outside coming to a stop but it wasn’t an odd occurrence, after all it was still early and tonight was the community meeting so her neighbours were probably just arriving home. She wondered if they’d even noticed her absence.

If she’d taken the time to peek out her window she would have seen the vans pulled up by the curb in front of her house. As it was she had no idea her front lawn had been invaded by large men in the red and grey uniforms that workers of the state wear until someone pounded a fist on her front door.

Cautiously, Julia approached, eyes narrowed warily. She opened the door and froze, staring at the men watching her in horror.

“Julia Allen?” the closest man questioned. He was a large man, as they usually sent in case a subject attempted to attack the workers. He had tiny eyes hidden underneath bushy eyebrows. He was intimidating to somebody of Julia’s small size.

Unable to form a proper response, she nodded.

 “You have to come with us. You’ve been slated for Re-education.

Nightmare brought to life.

 

~ MIRROR|ЯOЯЯIM ~

**Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.**

**\- Terry Pratchett**

20/5/18 AR

Mr and Mrs Allen,

                We regret to inform you that you have been put under surveillance. Your daughter Julia Allen has been exhibiting anti-social, individualist tendencies and consorting with others of similar rebellious natures. Therefore, she is currently being held in the Peterson Education Institution and will be unavailable for any family duties or activities. You will also be unable to visit. We are sure her behaviour is not learned from her family but it is protocol to put you under surveillance. We hope it doesn’t provide any inconvenience.

     Yours truly,

     Dr Linda Stafford, Psy.D., D.O.

~ R ♥ J ~

The closest institution to Julia Allen’s home was five hours away. They had to sedate her to get her inside the van and she woke up several hours later, groggy and disoriented, handcuffed to a rail on the wall of the van in which she was being driven.

The faces of her captors swam before her vision and she squeezed her eyes shut hoping that she could wake up in her own bed and this was all just another one of her nightmares.

The throbbing her head confirmed otherwise. Dreams never hurt but life does.

The men in the uniforms watched her warily and she noticed one of them had a needle out, ready to inject her with another sedative if she struggled again. Julia slumped on the bench she was seated on and eyed the needle unhappily. She knew there was no point struggling, nobody ever escaped the institutions, but that didn’t stop her thinking of possible ways she could get out of this situation.

Her mind tried to search trough the haze still present from the drugs and all it could pull up was Roman’s name and she sighed, her eyes burning as though she was about to cry but she refused to. Weakness was something she refused to show to these people.

However, now that she’s thought of him she couldn’t expel him from her mind.

Unbidden, thoughts of the words he had written to her floated through her mind, particularly his first letter. It was the strangest letter she had ever received.

~ R ♥ J ~

_12/12/14 AR_

_To the owner of this scarf,_

_My apologies for not beginning the salutation with your name but I feel it would be inappropriate to do so considering we’ve never been formally introduced. Today I was behind you in line at the market and you dropped your scarf. Before I could call you over to return it you’d disappeared from my sight. Luckily, as a regular at the shop, the keeper was able to tell me your name and address so I might be able to return it. It’s lovely and I hated to think of your sadness when you discovered you’d dropped it somewhere._

_My name is Roman Kislev, Miss Julia Allen, and I’ve included my address in case you wish to respond. I wouldn’t mind hearing back from you. I have few acquaintances as I have only recently arrived in this area and love meeting new people, especially one as beautiful as you. My apologies for being forward._

_Hope to hear from you,_

_Regards,_

_Roman Kislev_

~ R ♥ J ~

Due to the constant stream of thoughts leading back to her darling’s letters, Julia didn’t notice as the van slowed until it stopped. They had arrived at the Peterson Education Institution.

As soon as she registered this fact the panic started to set in and the edge of her vision started to blur. This was normal for her. If it continued she’d black out, maybe a few minutes, sometimes whole days, and with the future in front of her she was definitely going to be blacking out more often. It wasn’t a defence mechanism, she’d rather be alert, but it was something she couldn’t control.

Despite the fear she managed to hold on consciousness as the van rocked and creaked as it moved at an agonisingly slow pace through the fences and up to the main building. Julia tensed up as the men approached her to unchain her from the rail. Two of them took her by the arms and frogmarched her from the van so she could see the facility for the first time.

She’d never seen one of the institutions before and she was surprised to see that it resembled her high school. The layout of the grounds. The large, red brick buildings with shingled rooves the same colour were just like every school Julia had ever seen. She could see the subjects through a fence lining up together and they were even in a uniform. Granted they looked like patients in a mental asylum but it was still a uniform.

A woman in a white lab coat was waiting in front of the front steps of the building, a lanyard holding key cards dangling from her neck. She had her arms folded as she peered towards Julia with almost no emotion. Her mouth seemed as if it had never smiled in her life. Her cold, black eyes were framed by wire-rimmed glasses. She seemed... dangerous. Julia felt a chill of fear settle in her stomach.

“Thank you, gentlemen, please bring Subject X-D47 to the preparation room,” the woman said crisply, her voice as cold as her eyes.

Julia started at the term.

This was it. She was a number now, not a person.

This was something Roman had explained to her in one of his letters...

~ R ♥ J ~

_13/4/15 AR_

_Beautiful Julia,_

_I’m afraid for you. This is not a very nice opening to my letter, is it? But it’s the truth. I’m afraid that our correspondence may lead to danger for you. The last thing I ever want is to see you taken to one of the Re-Education Institutions. Do you have any idea what they do to people in there? I do._

_They take individuals, anybody who knows how to think freely and break them into nothing. Robots. It begins with the stripping of your identity. Numbers. That’s what you become inside. You’re given a Subject Number and that is what you must answer to. If you don’t, they punish you. If you use your name, they punish you. If you use somebody else’s name, they punish you._

_The punishments... you don’t want to know those kinds of things so I’m not going to tell you. I just hope with all my heart and soul that it never happens to you. I never want you to go in there. I don’t want them to steal away your mind and your spirit. I don’t want you to disappear_ , _radost’ moya._

_Love always,_

_Roman_

~ R ♥ J ~

They cut her hair.

That was something Julia was most horrified about. Not the numbers or the clothes. Not the white room that made her feel like she was suffocating.

But they had cut off her long, dark, thick hair that had taken years to grow. It was the one thing she always took immaculate care of apart from the box containing Roman’s letters.

“Oh...” A soft sound of despair left her lips and the subjects around her looked at her in concern.

Roman’s letters. They were at her house. She couldn’t touch them, read them. They couldn’t bring her any comfort where she was. It was as though a very particular, important part of her was missing and she felt a little lost, floundering in the middle of the Institution with no guidance.

She could feel the panic attack before it even started and curled into a ball on her seat as her vision turned black.

The dining hall supervisors noticed the distress exhibited by Subject X-D47 but they had been ordered not to touch or disturb her in case they were to cause her to “shut off”, whatever that meant. She was rocking back and forth on her seat as she clutched at her temples, confusing and worrying those subjects seated around her. The supervisors continued to watch her movement as eventually they stilled and she straightened up. Her head rose and eyes locked immediately onto one of the supervisors and she smiled, slowly and surely.

Confused, the hall supervisor looked away and glanced at one of his co-workers. They both shrugged and returned their gaze to the subject but she had just returned to her lunch, that sure smile still on her face and her posture more open than previously.

~ R ♥ J ~

22/5/18 AR

Teacher,

           We have taken on Julia Allen as a subject at our institution, as you requested. So far we have found no way to contact or locate Roman Kislev. The address written on the letters sent to Miss Allen is a dead end, to put it simply it does not exist.

     I am not sure what you wish us to do in this situation. We will, of course, continue to monitor the subject. Would you allow us to conduct interviews to attempt to extract any information concerning Mr Kislev’s location?

     One last thing, Miss Allen exhibits strange behaviours as reported by the supervisors who have been around her since she arrived yesterday morning. Would you like us to look into this matter?

     Regards,

     Dr Linda Stafford, Psy.D., D.O.

~ R ♥ J ~

The first time Julia walked into one of the learning rooms she felt stifled immediately. It was so... precise. Ordered. The desks were spaced with one foot around them on each side, two feet for the desks with a side near to a wall. On the desks were notebooks and pencils which looked as though somebody with severe OCD had placed them there.

The subject behind Julia pushed her gentle and she stumbled into the room. They were seated by their numbers so she followed Subject X-D46 and sat behind him, looking around and wondering what was going to be done to them in here. Would they be brainwashed? Hurt?

As it turned out they were simply being taught history. Well, a _version_ of history. The history of the last eighteen years of Reformation and of how terrible the world was before Teacher took over and restored it to the glory it should always have had.

_Terrible?_

Julia frowned, remembering Roman’s history lessons to her about the world and how beautiful it once had been. The World Before Reformation had been filled with problems, yes, but it was a free world for the most part and people were able to live their lives in the way they saw fit, not the way society demanded them to.

~ R ♥ J ~

_15/6/15 AR_

_Darling,_

_I’m sending some books with this letter. They’re history books, literature books and philosophy books. You need to read them only in the dead of night and hide them during the day as they’re prohibited by Him but I do want you to read them. I want you to be able to think, to feel, to understand. These books will help you do that._

_They’re from the World Before Reformation, written by people whose thoughts were free to wander where they wished and were able to record those thoughts to share with other people and help them think too. Now they’re going help you to think._

_Ralph Waldo Emerson who said that “Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures” so I have also included fictional works. F. Scott Fitzgerald is a writer I’m particularly fond so please read the_ Great Gatsby _, also_ In Search of Lost Time _by Marcel Proust is something I believe you will find particularly enlightening, and A. S. Pushkin is a poet from my home country, you’ll find his work rather thought evoking. Philosophy is something that has been lost from this world so there are some books of Nietzsche and Lao Tzu. Their ideas are ones that allowed people to think freely and also live better lives so it’s essential that they are read by human beings._

_History is another thing that has been lost. History teaches us lessons about the past and allows us to move forwards without repeating any devastating mistakes. Yehuda Bauer wrote about the tragedies of the holocaust, Clark’s books are about the World Wars, Montefiore wrote about my country and the Middle East two places that I find the history fascinating. Others less noteworthy have been included to broaden your mind and show you the true history of this world. It may seem dark but the only way to move forward is to make mistakes and learn from them._

_Tell me how you find these books. We can discuss the poetry and the philosophy. We can think together, Yulya 2, and I hope that these things help you become one of the people who will help this world return to its former glory._

_Love,_

_Roman_

_  
_

~ MIRROR|ЯOЯЯIM ~ _  
_  


**Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were.**

**\- Marcel Proust**

Dr Stafford observed Julia through the two-way mirror mounted between her room and the observation centre connected to it. They had brought things from her home, disturbed to find the books that had long since been prohibited, most copies burnt and any remaining copies kept with Teacher.

“How did she get a hold of those? I mean Nietzsche? He’s one of the ones Teacher wanted completely wiped from the human psyche. The same thing with those poets and authors. Creativity is no longer allowed, it separates people from one another,” one of the doctors grumbled, folding his arms as they watched her separating the books to the two halves of the bookshelf. “And why are we letting her keep them?”

“It was Teacher’s wish,” Dr Stafford replied coolly, her eyes narrowed. “He seems to think Roman gave them to her.”

“The man we’re looking for?”

“The very same.” Dr Stafford took her glasses off and produced a cloth, cleaning them slowly without taking her eyes off the happenings in the room. “I wonder why she’s left that gap in the middle of the shelves.”

Dr Stafford returned her glasses to her face and watched as Subject X-D47 sat on the bed, keeping to the right hand side and hugging the small wooden box to her chest. She was curled around it protectively. She looked... relieved.

“What’s in that box, Doctor?” Dr Stafford asked.

“Letters from Roman Kislev. She seems to care more about them than any of the other things we brought here for her. We don’t do this for any other patients, though, so why her? What’s so special about her?”

“Teacher is interested in Roman Kislev, very interested. He believes that this woman is the only existing link to the man so we have to keep her... happy. We can’t destroy her just yet.”

“Just yet?”

Dr Stafford smiled. It wasn’t the kind of smile that would be seen on a person who is happy, or proud, or loving. It was cold, cruel. Her eyes reflected the smile as she turned and left the observation room.

~ R ♥ J ~

They took Julia to a small room where one of the doctors was sitting, a clip board perched on his knee and Julia was forced to sit opposite him.

“Hello Subject X-D47,” the doctor greeted, voice filled with superficial cheer. “Are you well?”

Julia shrugged.

“I asked you a question.”

She shrugged again, not wanting to speak to this man. What did they want from her?

“Subject X-D47, I expect an answer when I ask you a question.” The cheer was gone so Julia raised her head and looked past the doctor’s shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look him in the eye.

“I’ve been better,” she responded softly.

The doctor made a note on his clip board. “I want to discuss some things with you today.”

“What kind of things, Doctor?”

“I have a few questions about a person we’re interested in speaking to on behalf of Teacher. You see, our great leader wishes to have your friend Mr Kislev work for him. Wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your friend be so helpful?”

 _He wouldn’t think so._ “Yes, Doctor.”

As the doctor made another note Julia looked around the room. It was pure white like the rest of the rooms in the facility. The only colour was the black shelves and desk but black didn’t exactly count as colour in Julia’s mind.

The white was starting to get to her. It was everywhere and despite the large size of most of the rooms their lack of colour made her feel like the walls were closing in. She’d already had two panic attacks that morning and had only just woken up from her last blackout as some of the supervisors were leading her to this room. She wasn’t even sure what day it was, her blackouts could have lasted a very long time for all she knew.

“Um... Doctor, would you mind telling me what day it is? I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.” Being so bold could be bad but the doctor gladly told her and she realised that she had indeed blacked out for over a day. What had she been doing in that time?

“Do you know how we can contact Mr Kislev?” the doctor asked, eyes burning a hole into Julia’s head. She turned to look back at him, frowning.

“Didn’t your people look at his letters? They have his address.”

“That address is fake, Miss Allen.”

Julia started. Since when did the doctors use names? She shifted in her seat, the break from protocol making her more nervous than anything else at this point. And _that_ in turn frightened her more because she was already starting to become too used to how the days ran at this place.

The panic began to set in before she could stop it and her vision blurred, focused and then blurred again. She shook her head, feeling the strange pain setting in at her temple that signalled a blackout. She clutched her forehead, willing herself to stay awake.

“Subject X-D47, are you alright?”

The return to her number did nothing and her vision flickered once more before she felt herself slip away.

~ R ♥ J ~

“Dr Stafford, I’m concerned.”

The doctor who was in charge of interviewing patients stood in the doorway to Dr Stafford’s office, a frown on his face.

“About what?”

“Julia Allen.”

“Sit.”

The doctor sat and Dr Stafford folded her hands in front of her on the desk, fixing the doctor with the closest the woman could come to a quizzical look.

“Have you read the report from my interview with her yesterday?”

“I have. You reported that the subject became unresponsive once you addressed her by her real name. She just... stared at you?”

The doctor nodded. “She looked like she was having some sort of panic attack and then she sat up and just watched him until I dismissed her and she went with the supervisors more quietly than she has before.”

“Did she respond in any way to any of your questions?”

“I continued to ask about Roman Kislev. When asked where he lived she smiled at me... or, well, it wasn’t a smile, it was more of a smirk but she hid it quickly. I don’t know what to make of this, Doctor.”

Dr Stafford pulled out the report from a stack of manila envelopes on her desk and examined the contents again. She tapped her fingers on the desk and then looked up at the doctor.

“Schedule another interview tomorrow,” Dr Stafford requested. “Ask about her childhood.”

“Why her childhood?”

“Medical reports from her file. I have some suspicions that are not unfounded and if this interview goes the same as the last one did then I’ll get permission to use ECT on her and see if we can’t dig up those memories she might be hiding.”

~ R ♥ J ~

_Hands... reaching... bruising... clawing..._

_Sharp...._

_Blunt..._

_Pain..._

Julia sat upright, grasping the sheets around her in fright and looking around for those hands, those objects that had been filling her dreams with so much pain that it actually felt real.

But it wasn’t real? Was it?

The faces of those people had looked startlingly like her mother and father. But at the same time completely different, their faces twisted with cruel eyes and dark glares. They seemed like strangers but she knew their features well enough to know that it was indeed her parents inflicting those tortures on her in her dream.

It _was_ a dream, right?

It felt so real but... those things had never happened. Her childhood had been fun and filled with love and happiness. Why would her mind conjure up something like this after the ECT she’d been put through earlier that day?

Had _they_ put those images in her mind to confuse and frighten her or were they real? Had her mind somehow blocked out the real memories and was only now releasing them because they’d been sending electric shocks through her body?

She wanted to deny it all vehemently but the questions they’d asked her during the ECT were strange. They wouldn’t ask them without proper reasons... or, they might. Maybe they wanted to send her crazy. Maybe this was part of the brainwashing, convincing her things that had never happened had.

She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes and tried to remember the exact actions of the dream. Something she remembered particularly distinctly was the sensation of a large, booted foot pressing down on her tiny chest and continuing to press down until there was a faint cracking and sharp pain shot across the top of her lungs. The foot was removed and she’d felt like it was still there as she sucked in breaths. Her chest felt the same as it did when she’d sprinted a long way and was trying to stop panting, only this pain was getting worse, not better the more she tried to breath.

“God... oh, god,” she whimpered. She’d had a cracked sternum as a child. She had gotten it falling out of a tree... or had she? She suddenly didn’t know what to think anymore and the tears of fear, pain and sorrow began to fall. She was so lost, so confused.

Who was she?

~ R ♥ J ~

After an exhausting round of ECT, Julia found herself being ushered into another one of the suffocating rooms with precise gaps between the desks. More of those strange visions had emerged during the treatment and she’d blacked out again.

They were being taught civics today. In Julia’s mind it was more like brainwashing.

A doctor stood at the front of the room reminding them of their duties as citizens and the role they had to play in society. Not to mention the extensive laws each person had to abide by or they would end up in one of these facilities. Julia wondered if anybody could possibly survive more than one sentence in this place.

“Subject X-D32 would you please remind the class of the role we each play in Teacher’s world?” the doctor asked.

The subject addressed stood and calmly explained how each person was live life in accordance to Teacher’s doctrine and refrain from any behaviour that could jeopardise the harmony He had striven to achieve for the world.

Julia found herself nodding along with everyone else until she stopped herself. It was getting harder to remember everything Roman had taught her. It was becoming harder to remain herself.

Soon she would become robotic.

Just like...

...Everyone else.

~ R ♥ J ~

20/9/18 AR

Teacher,

     I have sent you the reports from Miss Allen’s psychoanalysis and ECT, also the reports written by the supervisors who have seen her strange behaviours at night or during meal times. She never goes into the yard. It seems she dislikes being around the other subjects.

     Do you find anything unusual about her ECT reactions? I do. I am hoping that you have come to the same conclusion as I have. I know it will take a month to authorise but I wish to use the experimental drug we have been developing on Miss Allen. I’m sure it will yield the results we require. I will conduct the experiment myself just to ensure nothing goes wrong.

     I hope you concur with my assessment. As always it has been an honour to be trusted with these tasks on your behalf. I hope our work has met your hopes and I look forward to seeing you when you arrive to collect Mr Kislev from us.

     Regards,

     Dr Linda Stafford, Psy.D., O.B.

~ R ♥ J ~

Teacher had discovered Roman Kislev quite some time ago. He’d been forwarded a paper written by the young man on the Reformation. It was a detailed piece that had been rightly confiscated by a professor due to its individualist implications. However, what was most unusual was the fact that Roman Kislev was not a student of the college. In fact, his name showed up nowhere else but that one essay that had been sent to him by the college.

Incredibly strange, to say the least.

A second paper was sent to him weeks later. This paper had two very different sets of handwriting but it had been signed by Roman Kislev again. Teacher’s graphologists had examined the paper thoroughly and several things had come out of it. The first set of handwriting was written by a female, withdrawn and timid. The shakiness of some of the words showed severe anxiety while it was being written. The writing was also right handed which was unsurprising, just as all citizens were Catholic and all citizens were heterosexual, they were all right handed.

It was the second set of handwriting that was surprising. It was male and showed a much stronger character than the feminine handwriting. The strangest part was that the writing was left handed.

More and more work by Roman Kislev was being sent to Teacher along with reports from analysts that deduced Kislev’s IQ to be far above average. The papers that had been written by this man were interesting and when Teacher found someone interesting...

Teacher had continued to track Roman Kislev and was led to Julia Allen. He had made several educated guesses as to what was really going on and had contacted Dr Stafford at the Peterson Education Institution to assist him in discerning the truth.

Now it seemed that he had been correct in his theories.

It was with anticipation that he slid into the backseat of his car, instructing his driver to take him to the institution. He would finally be meeting Roman Kislev.

 

~ MIRROR|ЯOЯЯIM ~

 

**It is in our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.**

**\- Aristotle Onassis**

In the middle of the night Julia Allen was ripped from her bed, gagged so that none of the other subjects would hear the screams and dumped in a dark, cold room that she had never seen before. She sat hyperventilating in the darkness until her panic started to cloud in over her and was almost as if she could hear a comforting voice, deep, warm, loving...

_Sleep now... I will take care of everything... It’s me they want..._

Dr Stafford flipped on the single light dangling above the room as she entered, stowing something in her pocket, and was shocked to see the subject sitting forward in her seat, arms resting on the table almost as though she was sleeping.

“Subject X-D47?” she questioned. She had specifically ordered for them not to harm the girl or knock her out. She needed her conscious to administer the drugs.

The body did not stir.

She tried a different approach by sitting down and tapping the desk with a sharp, “Miss Allen!”

No reaction.

Dr Stafford looked at the slumped figure in front of her.

“Miss Allen,” she repeated, voice growing irritated. The figure once again made no move to respond. Dr Stafford was silent for a few moments and the figure stirred. “Miss Allen?”

“That is not my name.”

Dr Stafford froze at the voice. It was oddly deep for a woman and the voice was laced with a Russian accent that was not so thick as to obscure the words but enough that she could distinguish it.

“Mr Kislev?”

The body’s head rose and Dr Stafford was met with a pair of impenetrable eyes and a smug smile that had her shifting awkwardly in her seat.

“That _would_ be my name, Doctor,” Roman murmured, cocking his head to the side in the most absurd impression of a curious puppy. “I’m surprised it took you _so_ long to figure out where to find me. I’ve been here the whole time.” He laughed and something about the sound sent shivers down the psychiatrist’s back.

“My apologies,” Dr Stafford managed, unsure why this... personality was so unsettling. He seemed almost dangerous in the way he was looking at her in that moment. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Was there something _you_ wanted?” He did the head tilt again, seeming innocent as he asked the question but something in his eyes seemed to be daring her to make him angry.

“Not me.”

“Oh... _Him_.” The tone sounded mocking and Dr Stafford suppressed a cringe. She hoped Teacher could deal with him because she sure couldn’t. He was actually beginning to frighten her. He looked like at her like she was a science experiment, like he wanted to... God only knew what.

“You’re right to be afraid of me...”

The voice was so soft she almost didn’t hear his words but she looked up to find him smiling at her.

“Don’t be surprised,” Roman chuckled darkly. “I’ve spent enough time watching you over the months I’ve been here. I can read your expressions with ease.”

Dr Stafford took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. There were things she had to do now that she had him here.

“Do... you mind if we do a small test?” Dr Stafford asked, keeping her voice and expression composed and closed.

“What kind of test?” Roman was examining the body’s fingernails, running his thumb over one of them as if checking for ridges the way a woman might.

“An IQ test.”

“Two-thirty-six.”

“I’m sorry?” Dr Stafford wasn’t sure how that was an appropriate response.

“My IQ is two hundred and thirty six. You don’t need to do a test on me.” He hadn’t looked at her as he spoke. He took that moment to lean his chair on its back two legs. “Or was the real test one of those shock therapies? The ones you inflicted on Julia to try to find me.”

Dr Stafford blanched as Roman finally looked at her, his eyes narrowed down to slits. He looked positively murderous. He was still reclining in his seat looking for the most part like he was in his own home with a guest rather than an institution with a psychiatrist who had been torturing his shared body for months.

She remained composed, there were questions she had to ask to ensure he was fully conscious and would not be harmed when she injected his body with the drugs that would shut down Julia Allen’s personality and keep Roman Kislev as the only existing individual in the body.

“Do you know what the date is?” Dr Stafford asked, avoiding his terrifying gaze.

“It’s twenty days, ten months and eighteen years After Reformation,” he repeated calmly. He pulled two envelopes from inside his white shirt and placed them on the table, sliding them back and forth between his hands. “That’s what I dated these with not four hours ago. Deliver them for me. Right away.”

“...Certainly.”

Roman slid them across. One was addressed to Julia Allen and the other to Teacher. Roman tapped the latter.

“Make sure he gets it,” he stated. “He has to read it. He’ll know what it means.” Then Roman smiled, leaning back into his seat again. “Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?”

“You’re aware of where you are?”

“Peterson Education Institution,” Roman replied, scanning the room casually. “I always wondered what it looked like inside here. Where are we by the way?”

“Below ground level.”

“Dungeons. Old school. Very classy.”

Something about his casual tone was menacing. Even more so than his glare had been.

Dr Stafford looked at him, studying his face.

“Where’s Julia Allen, Roman?” she asked.

“Sleeping. It’s better that way. It would frighten her if she knew I was in here.” He tapped his temple and looked at Dr Stafford. “Do you know why I’m in here too?”

Dr Stafford took a deep breath. “I have certain... theories.”

“Please, share with the rest of the class.”

“Miss Allen was physically abused as a child by her parents. Correct?”

Roman nodded. “She doesn’t remember though... or, at least, she _didn’t_ until you people started messing around with her brain. It took me years to put those walls up so she’d never have to remember any of the traumas she suffered at the hands of her own parents. It’s lucky I was able to take most of the abuse or she would be worse off than she is now.”

There was a dark, protective glint in Roman’s eyes and Dr Stafford was astonished at the distinction of the male personality in a woman’s body. Perhaps Teacher would see fit to change his body to suit him, it was weird hearing Roman’s words coming out of a feminine mouth.

“I know what you’re planning, by the way,” Roman commented. “I saw the syringe when you walked in here. I’m not going to let you kill her. She’s staying right where she is.”

“Mr Kislev, you must understand the use you would be to our Teacher.”

His only response was to scoff and stand, his chair scraping the stone floor harshly. He strode over to the corner, watching Dr Stafford with a calculating smile.

“Mr Kislev, please-“

Roman strode towards her, a small smile on his lips and she backed away until she hit the wall. He closed the distance between them and pulled the syringe from her pocket, twirling it between his fingers playfully. Dr Stafford went to speak but Roman pressed the tip of the needle against her pulse point, effectively silencing her.

“What would happen if I injected this into _you_?” he asked.

“I’d... d-die,” Dr Stafford choked out.

“Good.” Roman pulled the tip of needle back slightly. “So, here’s what is going to happen. I’m going to break this and empty it and you’re not going to call for anybody just yet. Then you’re going to sit there until Julia wakes up and give her the letter from me. She won’t understand and I don’t want you to tell her, it’ll confuse her, she won’t be able to take it. Then you’re going to give Teacher the letter when he arrives at sunrise. He’ll read the contents and tell you to release Julia. Understand?”

Dr Stafford nodded, still terrified of the cold eyes staring into her own.

Roman pulled the syringe away and dropped it, crushing it between his heel and the floor. The clear drug spilled and stained the stone. He retreated to his chair, sitting in it only to shut his eyes and press his hands to his temples.

“Farewell, Doctor,” Roman said, his voice strained. “There is no need for us to meet again.”

~ R ♥ J ~

Dr Stafford handed Roman’s letter to Teacher with trembling hands. She hid them in her coat, wanting to seem unconcerned despite how shaken she was.

Teacher tore the envelope open and scanned its contents. He turned dark eyes on Dr Stafford.

“Is this some kind of joke?” he demanded.

“No, sir, he said you would know what it meant.”

Teacher blinked and stared down at the blank sheet of paper.

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - Russian affectionate term meaning 'my joy'  
> 2 - Russian affectionate form of Julia
> 
> I had to write a reflection statement explaining the story and my decisions, if people would like me to post that as a second chapter to answer your questions, I'm happy to do so.


End file.
